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A lot of thought went into dating my best friend. I am not a causal dater as is, so this kind of commitment was absolutely terrifying. There was so much at stake. However, after much thought, consideration, and prayer I started a relationship with my best friend of 7 years. And then it ended. Just like that. And losing my best friend was possibly the hardest thing that I have ever dealt with in my short 22 years. I am still not 100% and I honestly do not know if I ever will be. But there were powerful lessons that I learned through this relationship:
Your friends will tease you and then fully accept your relationship (maybe more than you will).
The beginning of any relationship is hard. And transitioning from "just friends" to dating can effect your friends as well. From my end I was teased about dating someone I had known for so long. "But he has seen you at your worst already," "Do you *LOVE* him?", were both examples of teasing from my friends. But at the end of the day they were all super supportive, because let's be honest who doesn't love a boy-meets-girl-and-they-end-up-together story?
You don't always know someone like you think you know them.
I am a big supporter of the friends-first-before-we-can-date idea. But I am beginning to realize that sometimes the friend you've known for 7 years is not always the person you think they are. For example, when given a very hard situation in life, a guy I dated for 3 months turned out to be more of a man than a guy that I have known for 7 years. I know that it's hard to compare the two but at the same time it made me realize that the time that you have known someone does not make that person a better person. You feel?
Post breakup your relationship will never "go back to the way it was."
I feel like this is a given. You dated. You broke up. You can't be friends to the same caliber you once were. It is just not possible. Even years from now there will always be those feelings and emotions surrounding your friendship, relationship, and post relationship. What you have to come to terms with is you chose to risk this when you dated that person.
Your friends won't understand and a lot of times they will chose sides.
This is the sucky part. Your friends will try to be there for both of you but that doesn't always work out that way. Oftentimes they will take sides. Just bite the bullet for the time being.
Social Media will eat you up inside.
You WILL look back at the good times and reminisce, because you hate that you lost something that was so dear and important in your life. And social media will make it that much worse for you... 7 years worth of conversation, photos, wall posts, etc. etc. It's enough to make you want to eat a carton of ice cream, watch Titanic, and just cry for hours.
Those are just a few of life's lessons I have learned from dating (and breaking up with) my best friend. But I am still in the learning process so holla at yo girl if you have any knowledge on the topic you would like to share.
later, Chelsea
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